Sober Podcast 483 - Remove the compulsive behaviour (or end the compulsive relationship)

Vee asked me to record an audio for her as she passed day 700, to help her remove contact with an ex-boyfriend before Day 800 rolled around!

Turns out changing our behaviour with respect to people (and our compulsive things!) is the same as removing other compulsive behaviours.

Counting days helps. Looking away / being distracted helps. Accountability helps. And no-contact (none, not moderation) helps too.

This same advice to Vee applies for removing booze, too. We don't snuggle up to shit that doesn't suit us, that doesn't have our best interests in mind. And boy oy boy alcohol fits into this category, doesn't it? Just like old boyfriends: Booze is a thing that we let go of because it doesn't suit us.

Here's Vee's original email requesting her personalized audio:

"I just passed day 700 and I still have the ex in and out of my life.  You and I have talked about my trouble with this relationship for years ... It's that awful mix of painful and comforting and Wolfie thrives in. Hope and disgust. Band-aid on, band-aid ripped off ... 'Why can't he just (fill in the blank) and everything would be great!' Grr. Must move on and an audio from you would be so helpful. Thanks, Vee"

And here's the feedback I received from her after she listened:

"Btw, very f'ing helpful, thank you 🙏 The message in the last 5 minutes is empowering, and what I needed to hear, because it's 100% true. And it's something I'm so guarded about that I wouldn't have been open to listen in a coaching call (conversation), so the recording is the perfect format ... I agree, it's similar to drinking in that guilt and shame are strong emotions linked to this compulsion ... I'm still letting all this sink it. The repetition is everything..."

You can listen to this message on repeat, too.

hugs, Belle xo

{Update: She's on day 798 today, and 28 days of full-no-contact with her ex. Hooray for this!]

recorded May 17, 2022 in Burlington, VT