I think the short answer to this question is empathy.
I know what it's like to be a drinker, to be frustrated, to feel like it's not happening for me. i know what angst feels like.
I also know that most shitty comments have a hurt person at the other end, and so i try to be patient, think of what it's like to be them, and then answer in a way that might be helpful.
This audio was recorded live in London, England on November 10, 2019.
Note: In the unedited version of this, there is a longish preamble about anonymity and whether my mother stalks me online. The actual podcast begins just after 13 minutes in the unedited version.